tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-132036492024-03-23T10:50:22.154-07:00Chronicles of a Chubby Mexican GirlYou take the good, You take the bad, You take them both and there you have the facts of life. The facts of life.
There's a time you gotta go and show You're growin' now,
You know about the facts of life. The facts of life.
When the world never seems, To be living up to your dreams. And suddenly you're finding out, The facts of life are all about you. All about you. You-u-u-u,
A-ll about you. It takes a lot to get em right,
But you're learnin the facts of life.Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.comBlogger353125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-7113514825531287472014-08-06T16:16:00.001-07:002014-08-06T16:16:12.962-07:00Blessed<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I got teary eyed this morning thinking of all my blessings. A wonderful husband whom I adore, kids whose inner beauty shines bright, parents who are the best grandparents to my children and who have had my back for 40 years, friends who I’ve had 35+ years (damn, maybe I should keep that number under wraps), a beautiful family who watches my kids so that we can provide. Sure, there are small hiccups and big boulders in the road but they’ve all led me here. I’ll be under construction the rest of my life. As long as I’m able to love, I’ll always be blessed</span>Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-5242243736037377262013-08-13T14:51:00.001-07:002013-08-13T14:51:05.028-07:00Library<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">Yesterday
was Alfonso’s very first time ever in a library. I loved sharing that
experience with him. I remember as kids my parents would often take us
to the library to pick out books. I loved to read. It would take me to
another world. <br /> <br /> Typing this makes me realize what a great thing
my parents did. Both of my parents came to America with only an early
elementary school education. I don’t think either of them made it to 5th
grade. Just had one of those moments of reflection. Wow. My parents are
wonderful. <br /> <br /> I think the last time I was there was with Punki when we worked on our report about Mexico? In 8th grade? I don’t even
remember. I do remember though that after we went to Taco Bell. My first
time. She introduced me to the combo burrito. Okay, sorry, I got side
tracked. <span class="text_exposed_show"><br /> <br /> I think we’ll be
visiting more often. Take the babies. Let them smell books. Because who
knows how much longer they’ll be available. The smell of books is an
experience to be had. I think I may take trips alone. The silence was
beautiful. I can write. I can read. I can nap. I mean, I can
concentrate. <br /> <br /> I’m glad I got to experience another first with
Alfonso. And that although it wasn’t Diego’s first visit, that I got to
see his eyes light up and the excitement in his voice as he walked
through picking out his music and his movies and his books.</span></span></span></h5>
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My older brother and I used to write letters to each other
when he left for college. One of his<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>letters in particular stuck with me. It was about where he lived and how
different it was from Las Vegas in that people could be themselves without
being judged or made fun of. Mind you, this was years ago before people believed
that making fun of others just because they weren’t mainstream was cool. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I have a hard time with this. A harder time with the taking
pictures of people we don’t think fit our description of normal and posting
them on social media. I think it’s mean. That’s someone’s brother, father, son,
sister, mother, daughter. Why can’t we look past the outside and just keep on
moving? Who’s to say<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>you’re “normal”? Or
someone behind you isn’t taking a picture of you or laughing at you because you
don’t fit their definition of “normal”? How would you feel? I doubt you’d find
it hilarious. Our kids are watching and they’re mirroring our actions. That in
itself is enough for me to reflect on my own issues. And not on someone else’s
issues or lack thereof. Because honestly, if they have the courage to do what
they’re doing, wearing, etc. We should really go hug them and ask them how
they got to that place. We want to be so lucky to have that level of self-confidence. </div>
Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-84127061324198628862013-06-03T15:58:00.002-07:002013-06-03T15:58:21.186-07:00Jose<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}">
<b><span style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"><span class="userContent">When
I was younger I hung out with mostly guys. They were easier. There was
honesty. There wasn’t the passive aggressiveness or tit for tat that
usually comes with being friends with the same gender. Punishing each
other with petty stuff. One of my closest friends who unfortunately left
us early was truly one of the best friends I’ve ever had. There
probably isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him. I didn’t
get to say goodbye but maybe that’s what was best. <br /> <br /> We
communicated through sarcasm and that’s probably why we got along so
well. But when it really came down to it, he would always have my back.
He would defend me when I needed it. Kick my butt into gear when it was
required. I remember him calling me upset one day because a guy that I
was talking to had said something derogatory about me. His feelings were
so hurt for me. He kicked him out of the car. There was also a day
where I was crying about dudes and why they’re so lame. He said “Yamell,
look at you. You really think it’s you? You are beautiful, you’re funny
as hell, you dress nice, you’re the whole package. Eff them (only he
said the word). There’s a problem with them.” One of the best pep talks
I’ve ever had. Because I knew he meant it. And that it came from a good
place. He trusted me with his life. With his kids and with his heart. He
told me things that he didn’t just tell anyone. And there was a mutual
respect. All the time. He took care of me and I took care of him. I
wish all friendships could be that seamless. Effortless. I miss him.</span></span></span></b></h5>
Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-64035960163142670052013-05-31T11:06:00.004-07:002013-05-31T11:06:36.264-07:00All of my tabs are on overdrive<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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So many things. All of my tabs are open and on overdrive. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Arms:</div>
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<br /></div>
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When I was younger my arms were smaller. I thought they were
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I wear sleeveless shirts. Stop it. Don’t look.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Excitement:</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When I was pregnant with the L’s someone posted a picture of
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaTgqphWwwhvUeGOb-9zY4qYNn-LdnkNXWYU8h49Az0JaOy55v_EpLpT5ZEm9YRe2WvkFkSpXeCjBbi53gsLBJIr8U4LMZHORlpqQnlyGa4b12LbKY4UvdNeGF7tKnsRcQK4__/s1600/916f52318f0658d6d338ea11e623fa3a.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaTgqphWwwhvUeGOb-9zY4qYNn-LdnkNXWYU8h49Az0JaOy55v_EpLpT5ZEm9YRe2WvkFkSpXeCjBbi53gsLBJIr8U4LMZHORlpqQnlyGa4b12LbKY4UvdNeGF7tKnsRcQK4__/s320/916f52318f0658d6d338ea11e623fa3a.jpg" width="320" /></a> </div>
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<br /></div>
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Cutest
thing I’ve ever seen. Left me wanting to dress them like this since. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>L’s will be <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1</b> in 2 short months. I was going to do a Loteria theme birthday. I’ve
been wanting to do a Loteria theme something for so long. Also a Dia de los
Muertos something. Just hasn’t come to fruition. So then randomly during a
bedtime feeding I decide to google “chilindrina costume”. And what pops up…
HOLY MOTHER OF MARIA JOSE Y JUAN! </div>
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<br /></div>
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</div>
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<a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=chilindrina+costume&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a">https://www.google.com/search?q=chilindrina+costume&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a</a></div>
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<br /></div>
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So then of course I start to search for Chavo. Nothing. I go
to Etsy and the angels rose and the sun shined through. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/105575458/chavo-del-ocho-costume-3-pieces-shorts?ref=sr_gallery_2&ga_search_query=chavo+costume&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_spelling_corrected=chavo+costome&ga_search_type=all">http://www.etsy.com/listing/105575458/chavo-del-ocho-costume-3-pieces-shorts?ref=sr_gallery_2&ga_search_query=chavo+costume&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_spelling_corrected=chavo+costome&ga_search_type=all</a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Their theme is now Chavo and Chilindrina. Hot dam I’m excited!
But they’ll be the same for Halloween. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I thought maybe we could make Diego, Kiko. He wants to be
Superman. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Next year.. Diego & Frida. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Oils:</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When Diego was in preschool, his provider was into essential
oils. I bought some. I still have them. I hear about them ALL over the place
now. I just bought some more. I need help with babies sleeping. And colds. This
dam cold has been in my house for the past year. I’m so over it! If it’s not a
cold it’s a stomach virus. There’s always something. Anyway, I hope the oils
help us. Lavender seems to be a staple in a lot of households. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
New member:</div>
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We have a new member in our family. More to come. </div>
Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-8016411669265561442013-05-30T13:09:00.001-07:002013-05-30T13:09:22.578-07:00Comprometanse<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span lang="ES-MX" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-MX;">Queridísima
familia y amistades, espero que hayan visto el video donde por menos de un
segundo pasaron la historia de Ruby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Escribí la historia en inglés y un día la tendremos en español y la
compartiremos con mucho gusto con ustedes. El tema de muerte fetal es un tema
que claramente a nosotros nos llega al corazón.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>La película de Return to Zero es la primera película basada en este tema
que nos toca a muchos. Con esta película se espera romper el silencio. Va a
comprobar que hombres y mujeres como yo podemos hablar de este tema libremente.
Comprobara que nuestros bebes existieron.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Y abrirá los ojos a la sociedad. No les pido mucho pero si pido por
favor que abran el link abajo. Que se comprometan a ver la película. No cuesta
nada más que unos segundos de su tiempo. No los voy a buscar ni voy a ir al
cine a asegurarme que si vieron la película pero lo que queremos es que los de
la industria de Hollywood miren que si ay audiencia para esta película.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Necesitamos 150,000 compromisos para el 20 de
Junio. </span></div>
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<span lang="ES-MX" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-MX;">Donde pide
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Las Vegas o en los estados unidos para llenar la forma.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span lang="ES-MX" style="mso-ansi-language: ES-MX;">Muchas
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<a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1oQnOv8bd7IXAgsWnBlW0rSB17ma_4sFFE3VK0gcj2qo/viewform">https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1oQnOv8bd7IXAgsWnBlW0rSB17ma_4sFFE3VK0gcj2qo/viewform</a></div>
<br /><br />
Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-51484342553794419902013-05-30T13:08:00.003-07:002013-05-30T13:08:42.761-07:00Update - PledgeAs of yesterday we were at 30,000 pledges. We need to be at 150,000 by June 20th. If you haven't made the pledge, please do so.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1HqU43R7iij8WJt1bavZkmjhmPdci56qakUUKt2VfvWg/viewform?pli=1">https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1HqU43R7iij8WJt1bavZkmjhmPdci56qakUUKt2VfvWg/viewform?pli=1</a>Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-76212111210811826302013-05-28T21:23:00.001-07:002013-05-28T21:23:10.156-07:00Times change<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="text-align: left; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Imma get all deep. Again. When I was younger, say, oh, my early to late twenties. Most of my friends and family were having kids and/or getting married. Not necessarily in that order. I had time. And lots of it. I dedicated most of it to them and their kids/families. For years.</span></div><div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: left; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><br></span></div><div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: left; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "> I then got married and started my own family. And that left me with little time because now I have my family and all that comes with it. What sucks about that is that the people I spent all that time with can't spend that time with me because they still have their families and they still have all that comes with it. And more.</span></div><div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: left; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><br></span></div><div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: left; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "> But now some are single and have weekends free and I'm still married and getting a sitter isn't as easy as it was with a smaller family. My point is, be patient. Be understanding. If I can't come to you like I did for years and I ask you to come to me, please don't take it as me being a bad friend. Please take it as, you helping me out. And providing me with company and friendship. It's not forever. But right now it's what works. Your friendship keeps me sane. It's just not as easy as when I could grab my keys and run out the door whenever I felt like it. I mean, I most certainly could but I may come home to my clothes on the lawn. I'm sure very nicely folded.</span></div>Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-87315199860727086842013-05-23T15:43:00.004-07:002013-05-23T15:43:25.580-07:00Return to Zero - Please pledge<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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The topic of stillbirth means a lot to me. By pledging to
see this movie it will prove to Hollywood that there is an audience for a film
like this. It will prove that women AND men can talk about this topic without
making someone uncomfortable. It will prove that our babies existed and that
this does happen to women of all types. It will help raise awareness on a topic
that is so emotional for so many. For me. I don't ask you for much. I'm asking
you for this. It means the world. And it would mean the world to me if you would
support this film. For me and for Ruby. Thanks. Please share with your friends
and family.</div>
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I'm a local leader in Las Vegas.<b> Please use my name where it
asks for local leader.- Yamell Galarza</b></div>
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<a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1HqU43R7iij8WJt1bavZkmjhmPdci56qakUUKt2VfvWg/viewform?pli=1">https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1HqU43R7iij8WJt1bavZkmjhmPdci56qakUUKt2VfvWg/viewform?pli=1</a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you guys want to see the kickstarter to the
film, here's the link. Ruby's story flashes at 2:26 <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1994087663/return-to-zero-starring-minnie-driver-and-paul-ade" id=".reactRoot[160].[1][4][1]{comment569643853080204_569845663060023}.0.[1].0.[1].0.[0].[0][2].0.[1]" target="_blank">http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1994087663/return-to-zero-starring-minnie-driver-and-paul-ade</a></span>Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-29183516267259398912013-04-17T21:16:00.001-07:002013-04-17T21:17:00.057-07:00My girl kicks ass <br/><br/><div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxVqP5zxfQx6DzAnC1wRon9sWW8LL1yMg-mPOQP99e_UlZ_bnd0UpPmD0fVh8JuWFL3sJqXS37BXR0QGuZT75JfEEq4AAS0y0zvNe-c40488BZwl4ZpvDmEqi4rf5UV3AerZDQ/s640/blogger-image-298222875.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxVqP5zxfQx6DzAnC1wRon9sWW8LL1yMg-mPOQP99e_UlZ_bnd0UpPmD0fVh8JuWFL3sJqXS37BXR0QGuZT75JfEEq4AAS0y0zvNe-c40488BZwl4ZpvDmEqi4rf5UV3AerZDQ/s640/blogger-image-298222875.jpg" /></a></div>Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-24551050123827914792013-04-03T16:21:00.001-07:002013-04-03T16:21:33.116-07:00Change...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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Lately I just can’t help but think that there has to be
something greater out there for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Work
isn’t as fulfilling as it used to be. I no longer feel a sense of
accomplishment. I’m here and all I’m doing is wishing I wasn’t. </div>
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<br /></div>
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The feeling has been overwhelming. I need to do something
else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to do my own thing. I just
don’t know what it is that I should be doing. But I know it’s coming. Change is
going to take over. Again. And it’s taking me somewhere wonderful.</div>
Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-86332813936685261202013-02-20T06:49:00.001-08:002013-02-20T06:49:17.894-08:00MamaLucas said mama last night. :)Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-78068375000793780172013-01-28T12:37:00.002-08:002013-01-28T12:37:19.583-08:00Happy Half Birthday Luz & LucasYesterday was the twins half birthday. Happy 6 months babies! In the 6 mos you’ve been here you’ve taught me so much about myself. You’ve taught me that I have more energy than I ever thought I did. You’ve taught me that I have more love in my heart than I thought I was capable of. You’ve taught me that you’re not a first time parent just once. You’ve shown me that a connection starts well before you’ve actually “met”. You’ve let me see your sister Ruby through your eyes. You’ve told me to slow down and asked me to patient. You proved to my body that it can endure anything. And you’ve proved to my soul that it can’t be broken. Thank you for showing your big brother how to be a big brother. He thinks you’re deaf though so can you please tell him you’re not so he can stop screaming? You’ve reassured me that your Dad is simply amazing. Lucas, your spirit glows. It glows through your smile and your inability to sit still. Luz, your name says it all. You are a shining light. You’re so laid back, but when you want something you want it done now. I’m not sure where you get that from. You both are so alike yet so different. You definitely keep us on our toes. The thing is with all of you, you’ve taught me more than I could ever teach you. May I make you as happy as you’ve made me.<br />
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Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-43268573611490822822013-01-18T09:32:00.005-08:002013-01-18T09:32:54.013-08:00LuzLuz said "mama" last night. Not mah-mah but "mama". Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-47243804261439080082013-01-18T09:32:00.001-08:002013-01-18T09:33:09.981-08:00My fightSo much on my mind this morning. I know I need to write it but well work gets in the way. One of my biggest pet peeves, and I have many, is when people give advice or pass judgment on things they know nothing about. Example, when non-parents give parenting advice. You may understand but you don’t “know”. I remember when I was younger and all my friends had kids but I was still single. I was a much better parent then. It was so easy for me to tell them or more so to pass judgment on what they were doing wrong. I also remember that they used to say “You don’t have kids, you don’t understand” and that my friends bothered the crap out of me. Because I understood. I understood that their bebe kids got on my nerves. And I understood that they didn’t belong at certain events. But I applied the things that I strongly disliked about them as parents and applied them to my life now. So I won’t say, you don’t understand because you’re not a parent but more um you don’t understand because you’re not my kids parent. <br />
<br />
On to the thing that bothers me the most. And this is something that truly bothers me. To my very core. Because this is one of those, “you haven’t walked a day in my shoes” situation. The always loved weight issue. I’ve struggled with my weight my 38 years of life. I’ve never been skinny, thin, average, etc. So when people who have shed 10-20 el bees think they know what a weight struggle is, it angers me. Because you don’t know what a weight struggle is. Yeah, you’re used to being thin so the weight you put on over the holidays is hard on your body. I get it. And the fact that you do maintain your weight but staying healthy and exercising. Good for you. And I mean that. I wish that I was there. Mentally. Emotionally and physically. But truly 10 lb isn’t the same as 50 or 100 or 200. It’s easy for some to say “you don’t like being fat, lose weight” It’s not that easy. See, food is readily available and accessible to us all. I don’t have to go in a back alley and buy a sandwich. And for some it’s not even about the food they eat but the way their body processes foods or isn’t able to process them. For some, like me, there’s a switch in my head that has to be ON for me to be able to be motivated and more than that STAY motivated. So skinny person, enough. It’s a hard BATTLE. A battle that some of us have to fight emotionally. Not just physically. Some issues stem from childhood issues. Some from issues as adults and some issues in general. “Get over it” you say. In OUR time we will. The key word being “our”. My key word being “My”. Because this is “MY” fight to fight. Not yours. I don’t go in your house and tell you how to run your life. Pull the cigarette out of your hand and break the wine bottle over your head. I don’t even judge you. I say, you do you, and I’ll worry about me. <br />
<br />
I have much more to say but my time to write is limited. And I can’t cry here in the cubicle farm. My point is, I wish we wouldn’t be so hard on people. We don’t know their struggles. So how they choose to dress, comb their hair, wear their weight, etc., isn’t a reflection of who they are but how we view them. But how WE choose to judge certainly IS a reflection of who WE are. <br />
<br />Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-15502829219322037642013-01-09T07:05:00.001-08:002013-01-09T07:05:52.954-08:00MilestonesLucas rolled over this morning!<br />
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Luz can sit on her own as of 1/6!Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-44052293312813983902013-01-07T08:49:00.001-08:002013-01-07T08:49:50.556-08:00Happy Birthday Ruby!January 7, 2011. The day my baby Ruby was born. It was a tough weekend. It seems as though the days leading up to it are much more difficult than the actual day. Yesterday was especially hard. <br />
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Happy Birthday Ruby. My hero. Thank you for the 2 gifts you sent. They will never replace your space in my heart. The contrary, they remind me daily of you. I think this may be why this birthday seems to have been harder than your 1st. We all say your name daily. Your brother Diego always remembers you. If we say he has a brother and a sister. He makes sure to tell us he has 2 sisters. If we say we’re a family of 5, he makes sure to tell us we’re a family of 6. I see your face in your sister. When she’s sleeping I silently weep. She looks just like you did, sleeping. She has your fingers and your toes. Your Tia Jen asked if it was wonderful or hard. I answered, wonderful. It is. Because when I notice, I know that’s when you’re with me. And I cherish that moment. I sometimes accidentally call her by your name. I know you’re with me. I know you’re with me always. I ask you to look over your brothers and sister. And I thank you. I thank you for all that you’ve brought into my life. For the constant reminders that it could always be worse. For reminding me daily that not every day has to be good but that there is something good in every day. Celebrate along side your abuelita Luz, abuelita Conchita and Tio Javier. Que te lleven los mariachis y que bailen mucho. I love you to Diosito and back and then some. “A Life may last for just a moment… but memory can make that moment last forever…”<br />
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I thank you all again for letting me share something so personal. <br />
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Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-21471395205183176412013-01-06T21:08:00.001-08:002013-01-06T21:08:45.032-08:00January 6These last couple of months have been rough for me. I've come home crying, I've cried myself to sleep. I've questioned so many aspects of my life. Through it all, he's listened. He's cried. He's worked twice as hard. He never flinched. He's loved me through it all. He's seen me at my worst. I've seen him in a different light. He reminds me that in our darkest hours, there we are. Together. Walking side by side. This weekend is a rough one for us. He knew just what to say, when words weren't necessary and when I just needed him to play with my hair while I sobbed on his lap. I love you Alfonso.Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-58084222292420647572013-01-03T16:24:00.002-08:002013-01-03T16:26:42.190-08:00Why? This is why...So I have been struggling with a whole lot but mostly with things I can’t control. I’m hoping writing it down will help me get over it and move forward. These types of things weigh heavy in my heart for some reason. <br />
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Having multiples and not being super woman. No one seems to understand or grasp the concept unless they’re a mom of multiples or a mom period. Not only that but also, the changes that come with it and schedules. Schedules are important for kids. Period. <br />
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So first things first. When you have a baby. One baby. It’s hard enough to get up and just go at the drop of a dime. Now, two babies. Two babies is even tougher. It’s not double the work. It’s quadruple the work. So double the work is a misconception. I’m not knocking Mommy’s of singletons by the way. I was one and that shit was hard. But now I have something new to measure it against and that shit was cake. So there’s the witching hour. And although it’s only an hour, that should be called the witching lifetime. Because it sure as hell feels like one. So going out after a certain time isn’t an option for us. We have to inhale our meal and then pay attention to them and them only. If we don’t, our ear drums bleed. Now the Mexican culture may not believe in this or even care about this but it’s real. And it sucks. So people, please don’t be upset if we’re not rushing to visit in the evenings. It’s nothing personal. It’s just not fun for us. And if you think that just because there are more arms than 4 waiting it’s easier, it’s not. At 5 months, they’re still on 3 hour feeding schedules during the day so whatever we do we have to plan for immediately after a feeding and be home immediately before the next. Feed them where we’re at you say? Well that would be nice if they would just sleep through it but if the napping is skipped the witching lifetime can cause self-inflicted bodily harm. You can visit us as well. But please don’t take it personal if we go on about our nightly schedule.<br />
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Which brings me to schedule. I’m all about it. Your kid goes to bed at 10 or 11 at night you say? Mine don’t and they won’t. And that’s because I don’t want them to. I need time. Quiet time. I even make Alfonso go to sleep at the same time as the kids. Just kidding. He puts up a fight. A lot of times we won’t do things on week nights because of the schedule. Sure, we can skip a shower here and there (by we, I mean the kids.. or do I?) but we won’t miss normal bed time. Again, why would I want to inflict pain on myself. I’m the one that deals with them in the mornings. It’s not a good time and not a good way for anyone to start their day. Again, I know you’ll be offended but please don’t. It’s not personal. It’s just how our family chooses to live. We’re happy with it. And that’s what matters the most.<br />
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Parents napping. It rarely happens. When it does, please don’t criticize us for it. We’re up early all week. Here’s a typical weeknight schedule for the Galarza’s. <br />
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2:30 AM – Help Alfonso prepare his lunch for that day if I didn’t already prepare at the 8:30 time. Feed babies. <br />
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3:30 AM – Alfonso leaves for work. I try and go back to sleep.<br />
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3:30 to 6:00 AM – I try to sleep. A baby will whine. A baby will wake up. A sista will wanna get hit by a car. Runaway with the mailman. Anything, just please I want to sleep. I’ll repeatedly remind Diego to get ready for school. “I was” “I am” “I’m doing it” are things he says. <br />
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6:45 AM – Angela arrives. Yamell chit chats with Angela<br />
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7:10 AM – Oh shit! I’m late for work. And if I’m lucky I leave for work at this time.<br />
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5-6 PM – get home, start dinner, swallow dinner, possibly say hello to each other and there may be words spoken (I wish I could always make dinner)<br />
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6-7 PM – pay attention to all children. All children make noise at the same time. Mommy runs around getting things ready for bath and feeding time. Mommy loses her mind and forgets why she stood up or walked into a room or forgot to put pants on that day. Mommy does the most ridiculous things to make babies laugh. <br />
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7-8 PM – bath time for all the chirrens. Feeding time for the smaller chirrens. <br />
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8-8:30 PM – Special time with Diego. Fighting him on why he can’t sleep in Mommy’s bed. Please. Please. Please. No.<br />
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8:30 – 10 PM - Lunches made. Kitchen cleaned. Bottles washed. Lysol sprayed. 10 PM is me being overzealous. <br />
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And it begins again the next day. Weekends are a little different so 2:30 AM may vary. But everything else truly remains the same. Except, you’ll see the feeding schedule in there 4 other times. 8 AM, 11 AM, 2 PM & 5 PM are the feeding times that you don’t see because Angela does them. Although the hours do vary since we do things differently. <br />
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So you see why the parents need napping? Don’t be sad if we don’t answer the phone. We’re tired. These are also our last so we’re enjoying them (although I didn’t paint a pretty picture) but we are. We also don’t have a lot of time left to go out and visit and hang out and party it up. <br />
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Did you see friends in there anywhere? No? Yeah. <br />
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Did you see date night in there anywhere? No? <br />
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It’s lonely up at our house. And it’s lonely because no one understands how hard it is to shower much less leave the house. <br />
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Oh yeah, I forgot the super woman part. I know that some Mom’s are saying to themselves. 2 babies. Shoot, what’s the big deal. I laugh. And I’ll let you have them for a week. And then you can tell me what the big deal is. Maybe when they’re 1 year old it will be easier but at this stage. It’s hard. And hard doesn’t capture what it truly is. And even Mom’s with 1 child will never admit the days when they have to put their baby down and walk away because the feeling of defeat and frustration is so overwhelming. I’m not super woman and I’ll never pretend to be. Do I wish I was? Kinda. Because then I’d never be tired, I’d always be out, I’d have time to cut tags from bibs (my Mom), go shopping at the actual store and not online, have a 2 minute phone conversation while making dinner, sweeping the floor and texting. Erase the texting. I hate texting. Dinner making is a luxury by the way. I wish. I wish. I wish. My working Mom schedule doesn’t allow for a lot of things to happen. My poor working Mexican wallet doesn’t either. <br />
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We are inundated though with false promises of babysitting. I’d ask my Mom but she’s tired. Angela lives so far away. My sister in law lives so far away too. And for some reason people only want to baby sit at their house not where the baby’s things are. Again, 2 babies, not just one. So we have to find a baby sitter. Know of one? Give me a shout. <br />
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At the end of the day, yes it’s overwhelming and to pretend it’s not would be LUDA! Are the children loved? Absolutely. Are they worth every bad day, sleepless night, dirty diaper, etc.? HELL YEAH! Their smiles, their coos, their crazy ways. They’re heaven. They’ve turned our lives upside down. And sometimes I can’t remember my name or even where I live. But the police man was nice enough to help me find my way. But anyway, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because those that know my story know that they’re a blessing. A gift. Not a replacement but a reminder. <br />
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Diego adores them. And smothers them with loudness and babas and all kinds of germs. And I know that even his life was turned upside down but given another option he’d never choose it. “eque no lo baile eque no lo baile que les de frifoles” is what he sings to them. I changed the foul mouthed version of that song for him because he would repeat it. <br />
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Okay sorry for the novel. No. No I’m not. I had to get it out of my system. <br />
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Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-30891639277207885552012-11-14T14:27:00.002-08:002012-11-14T14:27:40.609-08:00My baby boyMy dearest Diego,<br />
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Our lives are about to change. We'll go from a family of 3 to a family of 5. You'd correct me and say we're a family of 6 because we can't forget Ruby. You're the sweetest boy. I want you to know that I love you and that these 2 babies that are about to enter the world aren't here to take any love from you. I hope they're here to add to your life. It's because of you that Daddy and I chose to have another. You are so special. Your smile and spirit light up a room. You are so much like your Daddy. In a good way. Your genuine eyes tell a story. You're such an old soul. You and I have a connection that no one will replace. You can feel my angst when I try to put on a brave face. <br />
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I started writing you this letter the night before your brother and sister were born. I didn't finish it because there were so many emotions running through me. My thoughts were jumbled and I couldn't put my thoughts down fast enough. <br />
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Your brother and sister are now here. You're the great helper I thought you would be. You've had your jealous moments but for the most part you've proved me right. You've adjusted well. Your heart is so big. I asked you one day if you wanted us to give them away and you quickly said "No. But you can give Lola away." You make them laugh and you're always there to rock them if they start crying. To shush them when they get too loud and to love them when they need it. <br />
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I'm so sorry that the time we used to spend together has shrunk and is always just not enough. Our talks are almost always interrupted by the screams of brother and sister. Our cuddle time doesn't last long enough because someone always falls fast asleep. <br />
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In one year there have been so many changes in your life. You left Griffith (pre-K) to start Kindergarten at your new school. 2 new babies came. Mommy went back to work. Daddy left to work out of town. Mommy no longer takes you to school and Daddy no longer picks you up. We tried to take you to the safe key at school so that I could take and pick you up but it seemed to almost do more harm to you than good. When I saw the tears in your eyes I knew I just couldn't do that to you. Again. <br />
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I want you to know papi that no matter what comes our way, I love you. My love for you will NEVER change. No matter who you are, what you become or who you choose to love. I'll be proud of you through all the mistakes and all the triumphs. I'll show you affection even when you reject it. You'll always be my special boy. You were my first born. You were my first child to say the words "I love you" and the first child to call me "Mami". <br />
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You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. I love you more than words can express. But in Mami and Diego language "I love you to Diosito and back" Forever papi. Forever.Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-34148922645871896592012-09-28T14:19:00.002-07:002012-09-28T14:19:52.432-07:00She's always with usSo I promised I’d tell you about how I know Ruby has been a part of my journey with the Lucas and Luz.<br />
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I woke up extremely nervous the day of our very first “official” OB appointment. I was unsure if we’d be able to listen to a heartbeat. At this point I may have only been 10 weeks, if that. The morning started off with me on my phone, of course. I was on a birth board, and the very first post I read was the story of Moses and how a poster went to her son’s school and it was the lesson that day in chapel. The story was about how we should leave our worries to God and trust that he’ll make the right decisions for us. After I read this story, I tried to do just that.
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We arrived at the Dr.’s office and were told that the Dr. was running late and it would be a while before we’d be seen or we could reschedule. I wasn’t going to reschedule because my nerves were on end. So disappointed and sad, I sat back down next to Alfonso and began to fidget. A nurse comes out and calls the next patient, “Ruby… Ruby”. Alfonso squeezed my hand and whispered,
“She’s here.” Tears rolled down my face. She was there and she was letting me know that everything was going to be ok. And with that they called my name and took me back. It was in fact too soon to hear heartbeats but I felt good because at least I got to see the Dr.
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Later that day… We’re relaxing at home. I asked Alfonso to look up a recipe from a binder in our “office”. He calls my name and asks what the earrings (arracadas) that my Mami gave me looked like. I told him. He came out to the living room and showed them to me. You see, some years ago my Mami gave me some arracadas (gold hoops) that were hers in her younger years. When our house was robbed in 2012, they were a part of it and I was devastated. Again, I believe it was Ruby. And I believe it was her way of showing me that she was around. Yes, the hoops are something materialistic but they’re something I held sacred. Our house was robbed 2 days before Ruby’s service. <br />
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Throughout the pregnancy there were signs everywhere. All the time.
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The day Lucas and Luz were born and they moved me to the room I’d stay in a page was made over the speaker it was again to “Ruby”. She was there.
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You may not believe in signs or this story may sound cheesy and all coincidental to you, but to me, it is not coincidence. They’re affirmations that I have an angel. Luz looks just like her sister. Her eyes, her nose, her lips and her hands. My hands. If you remember my story of Ruby the one thing I regret is not having Ruby’s hands stamped to remember them. Because she had my hands. Luz has my hands. Her sister’s hands. Luz also has a birthmark. Lucas does not.<br />
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Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. My babies are a reminder of her. Of my personal hero. She left to be with God so that these babies could come be with us. That’s unconditional love and that’s the love of an angel. We’re surrounded by blessings daily and reminders that we’re blessed. When days get rough I think of Ruby. And I think, “it could always be worse”. And with that I hug my little family and thank God for what I do have.
Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-32618008713116574532012-07-19T16:07:00.001-07:002012-09-28T14:21:01.262-07:00My Mommy really does love meHonestly, I've never doubted her love for me. She just has a funny way of not expressing it. <br />
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It's no secret that our relationship is not what one's ideal relationship with their Mom be. I don't know what that last sentence means but I'm 36 weeks pregnant and I just can't concentrate on that right now without driving myself bat shit crazy. I think you know what I mean. <br />
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We have grown closer as I've gotten older. I think I was never what she wanted me to be. I'm not skinny. I wasn't the domestic type. I liked to drink and be out at all hours of the night. I liked the boys. Then I got married and the way she looked at me completely changed. Diego was born 1 year or 2 after and again, it got better. I lost my sweet Ruby and something changed, for the better.<br />
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I'm now pregnant with twins and she's been so different. Open. Or maybe it's not her and it's me and I don't see it. Holy shit! I just had an AHA moment while typing this. Maybe she never felt needed by me. I've worked so hard to be independent from her and to prove to her that I'm worthy that I never made her feel like I needed her. Hmmmm. Okay so back to the twins, our relationship is going strong. I talk to her daily. And now I had another AHA moment. Maybe it's the fact that she's making me feel so loved that I'm more receptive to her. Okay back on track, so we speak daily (we always have honestly) and she asks me how I'm feeling and about my son and my husband and the typical questions. She basically just wants to say good morning and tell me she loves me.<br />
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I'm getting to the point of my story.. Relajate (Relax). This morning she didn't call so I called her. We're chatting. She asks me how I feel and I tell her how painful it is to sit here at work all day. She then says "Me siento tan orgullosa de ti. Yo no pense que ibas a aguantar." (I'm so proud of you. I didn't think you'd be able to make it." Granted it kind of sounds like she's giving me a back handed compliment but the truth is she rarely, if ever, tells me she's proud of me. So it really was a compliment. I think she thought that I would have gone one bed rest and stop working a long time ago. I surprised her. I'll take it for what it's worth and won't over analyze as most of us tend to do. I just know the words "I'm proud of you" are what we all long to hear. She said them to me today and my heart is full.Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-70957097637156153322012-03-19T16:19:00.001-07:002012-06-13T11:20:29.458-07:00Pastels booooooI’ve never really bought into the whole blue for boy and pink for girl. I’m a rebel like that. When Diego was in my belly I was adamant about not having the pastel blue’s or pastel colors at my baby shower. Or anywhere for that matter. His room was/is orange. I didn’t have any Pooh or sports or whatever the trend was in 2006 in his room. Same will go for these chirren. No pastels. NONE! ;-) Just kidding. I ain’t mad at ya. <br /><br />When I was pregnant w/ Ruby I made a mental note of things that would not happen. <br /><br />If I’m blessed with a daughter she will not:<br /><br />1. Put her hand on her hip to take a picture.<br />2. She will not make duck face. <br />3. She will not wear tutu’s. <br />4. She will not over wear pink.<br />5. We won’t refer to her as princess, diva, etc.<br />6. She won't wear big ass head bands that are bigger than her head. <br /><br />I’m sure I’ll think of more things as the time passes but those are the things that I don’t want for her. If for some reason she grows up and wants to do all those things then I’m sure I’ll find a bus to throw myself in front of. <br /><br />So much emotional turmoil going on in my head this pregnancy. For more reasons than the natural fear of losing these babies. I’m exhausted. I’m grumpy. I sometimes wish I didn’t have to be in a room alone with myself. No joke. I annoy the crap out of myself. This pregnancy has been the hardest of ‘em all. Doc says that’s normal. With 2 you have twice the hormones and they really don’t know what to do with themselves so they decide to eff with you. And that they have accomplished. No rest so far this 2nd trimester.Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-78615207659108537012012-02-11T10:39:00.001-08:002012-02-11T10:39:40.313-08:00Say what?!?!?!So I don't think anyone comes on here anymore but for those that do.... <br />
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<div class="separator"style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFnQeeqjJxWQ0BYp1Js79j7W1tKCm82xXVY_PYU-lVb1j_ZQ588TxlcFGKRPNUOVv1qQ8PuDpJfPB-745MLQwcAYRAJA5J_7Az8tP4fJyUSvpLHsMrH6ZJocDCcn7wh9TxLNob/s640/blogger-image--1208920445.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFnQeeqjJxWQ0BYp1Js79j7W1tKCm82xXVY_PYU-lVb1j_ZQ588TxlcFGKRPNUOVv1qQ8PuDpJfPB-745MLQwcAYRAJA5J_7Az8tP4fJyUSvpLHsMrH6ZJocDCcn7wh9TxLNob/s640/blogger-image--1208920445.jpg" /></a></div>Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13203649.post-18888042093699199062012-01-07T07:28:00.000-08:002012-01-09T16:06:18.253-08:00Happy Birthday Ruby - January 7, 2011<iframe width="459" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Q5Ev4J2Y_zw?fs=1" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen=""></iframe><br /><br />Continuation from January 6, 2011 (posted yesterday)<br /><br />January 7, 2011. Morning came and nothing was happening. The medicine had been administered quite a few times that night. My big brother stopped by for a visit with some flowers and some much needed water. The nurse changed. The night nurse made sure to share my story. Suzanne was the day nurse. She explained to us again what would happen. They upped the dosage and at that point I asked for medicine for the “unpleasantries”. She gave it to me. Hesitant but she did. Again, I’ll spare you with why she hesitated. She administered the medicine to induce a few times that day as well. The contractions now started to get stronger. She gave me something for the pain. As soon as I took that they became even stronger. She came back with more pain meds along with the anesthesiologist who would give me the epidural should I choose to have one. I took the pain pill, the anesthesiologist still standing in the door way and with that, the pain was stronger and out Ruby came. 2:27 PM. 10 oz. 9.5” I looked at Alfonso’s tear stained face. The nurse opened up the sac, took her out, wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to me. My sweet child. She had my fingers. My lips. Alfonso’s nose. I kissed her and smelled her and stared and stared and stared. We were smiling and crying and crying and smiling. She was amazing. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her. My Dr. came and went. I had to take medicine for the nausea and vomiting (yeah I shared that one) that the pain meds had given me. The nurse took Ruby to take photos of her. My dear friend Gaby came to see us for a little while. When she left, the nurse came back with Ruby and we again sat with her. We took our own pictures. None. NONE. None make her look the way she did in person. I sang “You Are My Sunshine” to her. I talked to her. I asked her to take care of her big brother and us. I thanked her for choosing us. I never asked why. We inhaled her. Every bit of her. She amazed us. Shifts were changing, Suzanne came in and hugged us goodbye. Wished us well. We thanked her for her compassion and all of her help. We were told we could stay as long as we wanted. We sat with Ruby longer and decided it would be best to part and say goodbye to her little body. They took her and brought us a small pink box that contained the clothes they took her pictures in, a tiny diaper, a crocheted angel and a tiny ring. They also gave us an envelope that had information about loss and that contained her footprints. We got our stuff and they wheeled me out. Alfonso, our pink box and I. <br /><br />That’s not how it’s supposed to happen. You’re not supposed to leave without your baby. We now had to tell everyone that knew we were pregnant that we were no longer. I would have to go back to work and face the looks of pity. I would have to face life knowing that my body didn’t do what it was supposed to do. Protect my child. <br /><br />Ruby forever changed us. I’ll speak for myself, I see the world with a whole new set of eyes. I’ve always seen pregnancy as a miracle but more so now. There is no “safe” period with a pregnancy. You’re not any safer after the first trimester. I don’t take any moment for granted. The smiles in our pictures that once told a story now tell a different one. My normal became a “new normal”. My sadness became a part of my life. A part of my life that I have learned to live with. I’m more cautious on who I share my heart with. I just made myself sound bitter. I’m not. Unless you’ve been there, it’s hard to explain. There’s not a day that goes by, that, that little girl doesn’t cross my mind. A small whining session turns into “Shut up Yamell. You’re blessed. It could always be worse.” <br /><br />This year has been a rough journey. One that has tested me. One that has strengthened my relationship with Alfonso. One that has made me a better human being. There have been many tears. What counts though, is that I’m able to smile. I have smiled. I have a son that needs me to be strong and set an example. Being sad isn’t a weakness and I’ll never teach him that but walking through the journey that is grieving is what he’ll see. He’ll see that no matter what obstacle hits Mommy and Daddy that we’ll walk through it. Together. With God and each other. Because after every storm there is a rainbow. We are each other’s rainbows. That’s what we’ll take with us forever. <br /><br />Thank you for letting me share my story. I know it’s a long one and has the potential to be longer. No story could capture every moment that we lived. My memory and my heart will continue to hold it all. <br /><br />Mi querida Ruby, telling you I love you wouldn't touch how I really feel. We talk about you daily. Your little brother blames you for his foolishness. You're with us. Today we will visit you at the cemetery and share a special treat with you. Today we will honor you with everything we do. Visiting a new baby, donating money to another baby Ruby, one that is struggling in the hospital, we will light a sky lantern and send it your way, we will continue on our journey to love each other more. To complain less, but most of all to not let your loss be something we talk about with our head down. We are proud of you. We are blessed that the 22 weeks you gave us will affect us for a lifetime. Thank you for your guiding light and those daily reminders. I love you sweet Ruby. I love you.Yummersonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16966681072043194898noreply@blogger.com0