Thursday, August 11, 2005

Time

I too believe that time is going by at the speed of light. Our parents are getting older and wiser. Or maybe it’s us that are getting wiser. Nah, that ain’t it. I just know that I used to know every damn thing in the world and now find myself knowing nothing and my parents knowing everything. I’ve also recently found out that my parents have powers. At my young age of 31 and my parent’s ripe age of 60something they have way more energy than me thus leading me to believe that they have super powers. This is the time where all my friends are getting married and/or having children, not necessarily in that order. They’re buying houses, selling houses, getting divorced, losing loved ones, and moving up in the world. We’re definitely growing up. Well some of us not growing up so much as getting older. I’m growing up and out, way way out, but that’s a different story for another day. I’m a proud woman. Proud of my family and their accomplishments. Proud of my family and our love for one another. Proud of all that we’ve overcome. Proud of my parents for loving each other so much. I’m proud that because of them I learned to search for more than just comfort. I learned to search for unconditional love. Whether rich or poor, having love, you can conquer all. I’m proud of my husband. Proud of him for his willingness to learn so many things and using them to his advantage. Proud of him for wanting the world and not settling for anything less. Proud of him for working so hard and never complaining. I’m proud of his ambition. I’m proud of my friends and all that they’ve done. Continuing their education, having beautiful children, staying strong thru all the rough times. I’m proud of them and all the qualities that make them beautiful individuals.

I get sad when I think of my parents and how they’re getting older. Though, while they’re here I’ve learned to make the most of it and not take any of the time I have with them for granted. I don’t like it when my mom comes over and helps me with the house. I appreciate it but I don’t like it. She’s worked so hard her whole life that I don’t want her to have to keep giving to me when my turn to give back. I see how tired she is. I watch her when she walks and how she sometimes rubs her leg because it starts to hurt. I don’t like it when either my mom or dad help us with stuff. It’s time for me to start helping and them to sit back and watch. I know it’s not in their nature but it’s our turn to shine and their turn to see us the way we see them. With our hearts.

I’m happy I’m 31. With 31 comes so many years of different adventures. 31 years of heartbreak, disappointment, sadness and loss. I’ve gotten back up and dusted myself off. Sometimes looking back, other times never blinking and moving forward. 31 years of not settling for less than what I’ve wanted. I’ve loved, lost and moved on, always reaching for the stars. I found him. I never settled for anything less than butterflies and fireworks. For this I’m proud. Butterflies and fireworks not only in the man of my dreams but in all that I’ve searched for. 31 years of memories, family, old friends and new.

If that’s what 31 brings then bring on 32!

1 comment:

yenny said...

i agree with a lot of what you wrote. i too wish i could buy my parents a house, that my mom didn't have to work and i could take her to lunch and on trips. i try and see them as much as i can and call her as much as i can. even though i am cherishing each moment, i feel that are so slippery and slide by me at lighting speed.