My fight

So much on my mind this morning. I know I need to write it but well work gets in the way. One of my biggest pet peeves, and I have many, is when people give advice or pass judgment on things they know nothing about. Example, when non-parents give parenting advice. You may understand but you don’t “know”. I remember when I was younger and all my friends had kids but I was still single. I was a much better parent then. It was so easy for me to tell them or more so to pass judgment on what they were doing wrong. I also remember that they used to say “You don’t have kids, you don’t understand” and that my friends bothered the crap out of me. Because I understood. I understood that their bebe kids got on my nerves. And I understood that they didn’t belong at certain events. But I applied the things that I strongly disliked about them as parents and applied them to my life now. So I won’t say, you don’t understand because you’re not a parent but more um you don’t understand because you’re not my kids parent.

On to the thing that bothers me the most. And this is something that truly bothers me. To my very core. Because this is one of those, “you haven’t walked a day in my shoes” situation. The always loved weight issue. I’ve struggled with my weight my 38 years of life. I’ve never been skinny, thin, average, etc. So when people who have shed 10-20 el bees think they know what a weight struggle is, it angers me. Because you don’t know what a weight struggle is. Yeah, you’re used to being thin so the weight you put on over the holidays is hard on your body. I get it. And the fact that you do maintain your weight but staying healthy and exercising. Good for you. And I mean that. I wish that I was there. Mentally. Emotionally and physically. But truly 10 lb isn’t the same as 50 or 100 or 200. It’s easy for some to say “you don’t like being fat, lose weight” It’s not that easy. See, food is readily available and accessible to us all. I don’t have to go in a back alley and buy a sandwich. And for some it’s not even about the food they eat but the way their body processes foods or isn’t able to process them. For some, like me, there’s a switch in my head that has to be ON for me to be able to be motivated and more than that STAY motivated. So skinny person, enough. It’s a hard BATTLE. A battle that some of us have to fight emotionally. Not just physically. Some issues stem from childhood issues. Some from issues as adults and some issues in general. “Get over it” you say. In OUR time we will. The key word being “our”. My key word being “My”. Because this is “MY” fight to fight. Not yours. I don’t go in your house and tell you how to run your life. Pull the cigarette out of your hand and break the wine bottle over your head. I don’t even judge you. I say, you do you, and I’ll worry about me.

I have much more to say but my time to write is limited. And I can’t cry here in the cubicle farm. My point is, I wish we wouldn’t be so hard on people. We don’t know their struggles. So how they choose to dress, comb their hair, wear their weight, etc., isn’t a reflection of who they are but how we view them. But how WE choose to judge certainly IS a reflection of who WE are.