Why? This is why...

So I have been struggling with a whole lot but mostly with things I can’t control. I’m hoping writing it down will help me get over it and move forward. These types of things weigh heavy in my heart for some reason.

Having multiples and not being super woman. No one seems to understand or grasp the concept unless they’re a mom of multiples or a mom period. Not only that but also, the changes that come with it and schedules. Schedules are important for kids. Period.

So first things first. When you have a baby. One baby. It’s hard enough to get up and just go at the drop of a dime. Now, two babies. Two babies is even tougher. It’s not double the work. It’s quadruple the work. So double the work is a misconception. I’m not knocking Mommy’s of singletons by the way. I was one and that shit was hard. But now I have something new to measure it against and that shit was cake. So there’s the witching hour. And although it’s only an hour, that should be called the witching lifetime. Because it sure as hell feels like one. So going out after a certain time isn’t an option for us. We have to inhale our meal and then pay attention to them and them only. If we don’t, our ear drums bleed. Now the Mexican culture may not believe in this or even care about this but it’s real. And it sucks. So people, please don’t be upset if we’re not rushing to visit in the evenings. It’s nothing personal. It’s just not fun for us. And if you think that just because there are more arms than 4 waiting it’s easier, it’s not. At 5 months, they’re still on 3 hour feeding schedules during the day so whatever we do we have to plan for immediately after a feeding and be home immediately before the next. Feed them where we’re at you say? Well that would be nice if they would just sleep through it but if the napping is skipped the witching lifetime can cause self-inflicted bodily harm. You can visit us as well. But please don’t take it personal if we go on about our nightly schedule.

Which brings me to schedule. I’m all about it. Your kid goes to bed at 10 or 11 at night you say? Mine don’t and they won’t. And that’s because I don’t want them to. I need time. Quiet time. I even make Alfonso go to sleep at the same time as the kids. Just kidding. He puts up a fight. A lot of times we won’t do things on week nights because of the schedule. Sure, we can skip a shower here and there (by we, I mean the kids.. or do I?) but we won’t miss normal bed time. Again, why would I want to inflict pain on myself. I’m the one that deals with them in the mornings. It’s not a good time and not a good way for anyone to start their day. Again, I know you’ll be offended but please don’t. It’s not personal. It’s just how our family chooses to live. We’re happy with it. And that’s what matters the most.

Parents napping. It rarely happens. When it does, please don’t criticize us for it. We’re up early all week. Here’s a typical weeknight schedule for the Galarza’s.

2:30 AM – Help Alfonso prepare his lunch for that day if I didn’t already prepare at the 8:30 time. Feed babies.

3:30 AM – Alfonso leaves for work. I try and go back to sleep.

3:30 to 6:00 AM – I try to sleep. A baby will whine. A baby will wake up. A sista will wanna get hit by a car. Runaway with the mailman. Anything, just please I want to sleep. I’ll repeatedly remind Diego to get ready for school. “I was” “I am” “I’m doing it” are things he says.

6:45 AM – Angela arrives. Yamell chit chats with Angela

7:10 AM – Oh shit! I’m late for work. And if I’m lucky I leave for work at this time.

5-6 PM – get home, start dinner, swallow dinner, possibly say hello to each other and there may be words spoken (I wish I could always make dinner)

6-7 PM – pay attention to all children. All children make noise at the same time. Mommy runs around getting things ready for bath and feeding time. Mommy loses her mind and forgets why she stood up or walked into a room or forgot to put pants on that day. Mommy does the most ridiculous things to make babies laugh.

7-8 PM – bath time for all the chirrens. Feeding time for the smaller chirrens.

8-8:30 PM – Special time with Diego. Fighting him on why he can’t sleep in Mommy’s bed. Please. Please. Please. No.

8:30 – 10 PM - Lunches made. Kitchen cleaned. Bottles washed. Lysol sprayed. 10 PM is me being overzealous.

And it begins again the next day. Weekends are a little different so 2:30 AM may vary. But everything else truly remains the same. Except, you’ll see the feeding schedule in there 4 other times. 8 AM, 11 AM, 2 PM & 5 PM are the feeding times that you don’t see because Angela does them. Although the hours do vary since we do things differently.

So you see why the parents need napping? Don’t be sad if we don’t answer the phone. We’re tired. These are also our last so we’re enjoying them (although I didn’t paint a pretty picture) but we are. We also don’t have a lot of time left to go out and visit and hang out and party it up.

Did you see friends in there anywhere? No? Yeah.

Did you see date night in there anywhere? No?

It’s lonely up at our house. And it’s lonely because no one understands how hard it is to shower much less leave the house.

Oh yeah, I forgot the super woman part. I know that some Mom’s are saying to themselves. 2 babies. Shoot, what’s the big deal. I laugh. And I’ll let you have them for a week. And then you can tell me what the big deal is. Maybe when they’re 1 year old it will be easier but at this stage. It’s hard. And hard doesn’t capture what it truly is. And even Mom’s with 1 child will never admit the days when they have to put their baby down and walk away because the feeling of defeat and frustration is so overwhelming. I’m not super woman and I’ll never pretend to be. Do I wish I was? Kinda. Because then I’d never be tired, I’d always be out, I’d have time to cut tags from bibs (my Mom), go shopping at the actual store and not online, have a 2 minute phone conversation while making dinner, sweeping the floor and texting. Erase the texting. I hate texting. Dinner making is a luxury by the way. I wish. I wish. I wish. My working Mom schedule doesn’t allow for a lot of things to happen. My poor working Mexican wallet doesn’t either.

We are inundated though with false promises of babysitting. I’d ask my Mom but she’s tired. Angela lives so far away. My sister in law lives so far away too. And for some reason people only want to baby sit at their house not where the baby’s things are. Again, 2 babies, not just one. So we have to find a baby sitter. Know of one? Give me a shout.

At the end of the day, yes it’s overwhelming and to pretend it’s not would be LUDA! Are the children loved? Absolutely. Are they worth every bad day, sleepless night, dirty diaper, etc.? HELL YEAH! Their smiles, their coos, their crazy ways. They’re heaven. They’ve turned our lives upside down. And sometimes I can’t remember my name or even where I live. But the police man was nice enough to help me find my way. But anyway, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Because those that know my story know that they’re a blessing. A gift. Not a replacement but a reminder.

Diego adores them. And smothers them with loudness and babas and all kinds of germs. And I know that even his life was turned upside down but given another option he’d never choose it. “eque no lo baile eque no lo baile que les de frifoles” is what he sings to them. I changed the foul mouthed version of that song for him because he would repeat it.

Okay sorry for the novel. No. No I’m not. I had to get it out of my system.