What happen's when you wear white pants?

Aunt Flo comes to visit that’s what. No wonder I’ve been feeling all crazy and shit. I’m so sleepy and irritated. Irritated because I’m sleepy.

In other news, Fonz puts in our stove today which means I can start cooking again. Well I’ll have to see how well he cleaned the hood. Did I tell you that the hood was so greasy that there were flies stuck to the light bulb? Yep there were. Nasty.

When I first met Alfonso we would talk on the phone more than we would see each other. One day when we were on the phone he was complaining of pain. He kept grunting and groaning and moaning and well being the baby that men very often are when they’re sick. I asked him what was wrong and he said he couldn’t tell me. Finally after a dozen “andale dime” ‘s,

Him: My heart.
Me: What up with your heart?
Him: I have heart problems.
Me:
Him:
Me:
Him:
Me: Um what?
Him: I have heart problems.
Me: Why don’t you go to the doctor?
Him: I did but I ran out of medicine.
Me: Well why don’t you tell your mom to send you some more?
Him: Because they don’t know. No one knows.
Me: Well why would you tell me if you just met me?
Him: Because you don’t talk to anyone that would tell my family.
Me: Okay, well take care of yourself.

5 years later:

Me: Hey whatever happened with your heart.
Him: My heart?
Me: Yeah remember you told me you had heart problems.
Him: AH, Cuando?
Me: When I first met you?
Him: No I didn’t.
Me: Yes you did.
Him: jajajajajajajajaja
Me: You lyin’ ass punk! Jajajaja I can’t wait to tell your mother what a liar you are.

Isn’t it funny the stupid shit you lie about (this wasn’t stupid I was truly worried) when you’re dating. I remember telling some stupid lies. Thank the Lord he didn’t remember them. Or maybe he does and just doesn’t bring them up because he doesn’t want me to feel stupid. Yeah that’s probably it. Awww what a sweetie.