Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Ouch

On Sunday I received sad news about a family member. They’re going thru the same thing we went thru in May. They lost a baby. I think she was in her first trimester as was I. It was just such a coincidence that the night before Fonz and I were crying hysterically because sometimes the pain is very overwhelming. We’re driving home from a night out and I said “I dedicate this song to our baby”, a spanish song sung by Ana Barbara and her siblings. Immediately tears started flowing. He calmed down but once we got inside I was crying that cry where you scream and gasp for air. I just kept screaming over and over again “NO ONE UNDERSTANDS”. It’s true, no one understands. Some people think that because we were only 3 months along that the pain isn’t intense. It is, it’s indescribable. My cousin (who just suffered the loss) said it was like him so excited to open a Xmas gift and then it’s taken away. It kind of is like that only 1 bazillion times worse.

It hurts. It’s a breathtaking pain. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of him. No, that won’t deter us from trying again, but because we can try again doesn’t make it hurt less. We don’t dwell but it’s not something you forget. I know I write about it a lot but that's just because it's on my mind a lot and hopefully me talking will help someone else thru their pain. It was a blessing in disguise because we weren’t ready. Yes I know, “you never really are”. I wanted us to be a little more financially stable and not only that but to have some time alone with my husband before we started filling the house. Plus, I have other selfish reasons. Anyway, we’re happy together and our lives are filled with happiness. I mean for the love of all that is pink and pretty, we have an awesome family, wonderful friends and most of all each other and our health.

I’m hoping that my cousin and his girlfriend will find comfort in knowing that we know what they’re going thru and that they can call us whenever they’d like. It takes a great support system to get thru something like this. On a happier note...

3 comments:

bevy said...

It must be awful. I never realized how heart wrenching it could be.

Monique Rielle said...

I have learned that you never truly get over the lose of a child, you just learn to live with the ache in your heart and find comfort in knowing that up there (points to heaven) there are little angels watching over us.

Yummerson said...

You're right on the mark.