Friday, January 06, 2006
Ugly on the Inside
I’ve had a knot in my throat for a couple of days now. I want to vent and I try to. I want to vent to someone who has compassion or feels what I’m saying. I want to vent to someone who won’t say “be patient” or reply with a “well check out what happened to me” story. That doesn’t help me. I don’t want to vent only to give you the opportunity to tell me you’ve been thru the same thing when we live in different worlds as two different human beings. I want someone to listen to me, genuinely listen. It’s not a big deal and it’s petty shit but it’s bothering me. What’s bothering me isn’t the petty shit but is that I feel so selfish and just internally ugly right now. I can’t shake it, as hard as I try, I just can’t.