Motivate

I want to be able to maintain this. I do. I really do. I don’t always have a lot to say and when I do I don’t want to always be complaining and venting. Not that I have an image to maintain but I don’t want to put all that negativity out there.

I’m still doing the WW thing. A couple of weeks ago I lost the motivation. I’m working on getting that back. I feel like crap and I don’t want to go back up. It’s so hard. It’s such a struggle. My weight issues stem from my childhood. I have to work through all of that in addition to just controlling portions. Controlling emotions is exhausting and such a daily struggle. I often wonder if I’m alone. Everyone, my whole life has always told me how moody I am. Which by the way doesn’t help me. It’s like telling me I’m fat. How does that help me? I’m not sure so rethink your approach. I’ve lost 33 and probably gained back 5 in the last week. The motivation loss started when the weather started getting warmer and things slowed down at work. I want to be home or outside (not hiking or fishing or bike riding) playing with Diego or watching him play but I don’t really want to be here. I have to get that motivation back. They say with weight loss you gain energy. I haven’t gained a damn bit of energy. WW says to eat filling foods and you won’t feel hungry. I feel hungry damn it! I feel hungry and like taking a nap. I’m putting it out there to whoever is listening – I NEED MOTIVATION!!!!

Diego is growing like crazy. I guess kids do that. He’s becoming a rebelde. Testing my patience. Every. Day. 99% of the time he’s a good kid. Right now he’s at the stage where he talks. Non stop. Non.Stop. Not too long ago I enrolled him in a sports class with the county. $18 for 6 weeks. Not bad. They do a different sport every week. He wants it to be basketball every week and then we get home and he tries to teach me stuff. At least he gets to play with kids. Sometimes I feel bad because he’s either with my parents or with Alfonso and I so he doesn’t get that interaction with kids his age. Then other times I see kids his age and I don’t want him to interact with them. They’re sponges. They take on everyone else’s personality. Some personalities don’t need to be taken on. On the 14th he starts a ballet folklorico class. I’m sooo excited about that one. Before he was born or even a premonition I wished that one of my nieces or nephews would want to do that. That was a no go. So I’m so glad that I can have him at least test the waters. I really hope he enjoys it. He’s such a fun kid. Such a bright personality. I’m not saying that just because I’m his mom.

We’ve taken on many much needed home projects. I didn’t know they’d be such a headache. They’re almost done though. Gracias a Dios. Just need the house painted and that part will be done. Then is the landscaping. AY AY AY! Our floors are disgusting but what’s the sense in keeping it up when the workers aka Alfonso keep walking in and out all day.

Alfonso. He’s good. He, like Diego, tests my patience. He helps. He helps a lot more than most men. I’m appreciative of that. He just doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body. Pobrecito. I try to give him hints but he just doesn’t know how to follow through. In talking to other women I guess it’s not uncommon. Come on guys put some pep in your step. You want more nooky well give us some romance. I don’t care so much about candy and flowers. You should never buy a big girl candy anyway. I want you to plan the date, find a sitter and take me out. I’m tired of planning stuff. I think all damn day long, every day. It’s your turn. I make decisions for the family every damn day. It’s your turn. Use your cabezita a little. Holy smokes.
I love him with or without his romantic bone.
Overall. I’m happy. I’m blessed. (Have you noticed that word is overused these days?) I hope you are too.

None

I haven't posted in an eternity. I thorry. It's not because I've been busy it's just because I lack interest. When I feel the umph I don't have the time nor the energy to get this party started.

My baby will be 3. THREE! TRES! WTF?! Where did time go? He's crazier than ever. It's true what they say about boys. We didn't go through any terrible 2's. The crazy ass 3's are starting. He's a pain in the arse. He has the best personality. Like his mom. Okay no but seriously he does have a great personality. He knows how to laugh at himself when he knows he's being silly. He's bilingual. (I'm trying to write right this second and was just interrupted. see I'm not just making excuses. How would these people make it if I didn't exist? I hope the magnet falls off my ass soon.) Sorry lost my train of thought. Point is my kid is great. When he's sleeping and occasionally when he's awake. I joke. He's great and his smile lights up my world.

I joined Weight Watchers in June. I've lost slowly but I've lost. I don't want to give up the only thing that makes me happy. Liquor. I feel better.

In October will be 5 years that Alfonso and I decided to join our hands in holy matrimony. 5 years! Damnnnnnnn! I don't know how I've done it. Seriously. I don't know how he's done it. My patient lover! We've decided that we want to renew our vows. Some people think it's too soon. I say hey man. I love this fellar and he loves me. We've been married for almost 5 and together for 12. In just the 5 years we've loved, lost, sacrificed and learned the meaning of unconditional love. We've miscarried. We've suffered illnesses (minor) and are still attracted to each other after all we've seen. ;-) We've had a child and learned what it means to love endlessly. We've struggled and triumphed financially. Most of all we've had each other and loved each other through all of it.

I see that our petty fights over what fast food place we're going to stop at or why he's always gotta be falling asleep everywhere are just that. Petty. I admit it. It's admitting you're wrong and being able to say you're sorry. It's being honest even when it hurts. It's loving each other even when your gas is so bad you can clear out a neighborhood block. It's him taking care of me after my c-section. Being comfortable with him and knowing that no matter what he sees he's still going to think his wife is the hottest chick on the planet. It's looking at him and saying "Damn. You're all mine sucka!". It's seeing the look in his eye when our son does something extraordinary. It's seeing his facial expression when he's proud of me. It's the butterflies I still get when I know it's time to come home and he's going to be here waiting for me. It's looking at each other with tears in your eyes and silence. No words need to be said because you already know what the other is thinking.

I don't need 10, 15, 25 or 50 years to tell me what I know now. I love this man and he loves me. I'd marry him time and time again.

Bag

I'm not a bag person. Mainly because I'm not one of those people that think it's practical to carry a $200 bag. To most it's about status. Buttttt I saw this bag and I want it. It's no big brand because that ain't me and it's out of my price range but IIIIII LOOOOOOVEEEEE IT. I can't find it online and it's at select Macy's only. If you see it buy it for me... I'll pay you back. I promise... Damn I love it.

Hi

I'm well. I hope you weren't worried.

I wish I could find time to keep up with this but it's almost impossible. Between work and home and all things in between it's too hard to find the energy to write. My mind goes blank and I really don't know what to tell you.

I'd love to chronicle Diego's milestones and the things he says and does on a daily basis. I'd love it. I can't do it.

I'd love to write about how exciting my life is. I can't do it. Mainly because it's not very exciting and I don't think you'd like to read about the laundry that's never ending and that the dish washer runs way more often than I do.

I'd love to write about how down I've been for over a month now but I don't want it in writing. Not on here. Every day is a struggle. In no way am I saying I'm depressed but I'm disappointed. Know that my husband is great and so is my son. It has everything to do with me and nothing to do with them.

I'd love to write about how my mom has had a lot to do with the person I am today. I'd love to say it has had only a positive impact. It hasn't. I can't place sole blame on her because I have the power to change it now.

I am happy and excited to say that this weekend I've been happier than I have been in a few weeks.

I don't share my feelings well because it really doesn't do any good. More often I end up feeling alone, so I just keep it to myself or let it out on my husband. God bless him for the burden he carries on his shoulders every day. For him I am truly grateful.

I always talked shit about Myspace. I still do.

I'm on Facebook. I think you know my name. Look me up if you'd like or e-mail me and I'll tell you my name. ;-)

Thanks for listening. I hope I have more to post soon. I just had a free second for once in a long time and I thought I'd let you know that I'm still alive and kickin'. Not so much kickin' but I'm alive and that's great!

Musica

Happy New Year!

As you can tell, I just don't feel like it these days. For a long time actually. I'd like to find time to do it every day. Maybe like Rev Run while sitting in my bath tub. My fingers hurt though and I almost go into full blown anxiety attack when trying to post from the phone. I'll try taking a Xanax next time prior and see how it works out.

I started to write something oh 3 months ago or so and my e-mail deleted the draft. It was about Diego and all the things he says now but they change so quickly that it'd be dumb to post it now anyway. He says EVERYTHING. If I say it he repeats it. He says, please and thank you. Very nice young man. He kisses every part of my face before bed. More importantly, he does the sign of the cross before bed. He also does it to me and his Papi or his babe or Poncho whatever he chooses to call him that day. Then we say our I love you's and he says I wu or mucho, like te quiero mucho, but he shortens it. He's cool like that. Then he says Mami mucho? As in does Mami love him mucho. I say si, Mami te quiere mucho, Papi mucho? Nino mucho? So he wants to know if everyone loves him. You get the point right? His shows of choice are Yo Gabba Gabba and Hi-5. He’s not into cartoons just yet. He learned to tap his head and rub his belly from watching Hi-5. There’s so much he does. He’s sick right now with an ear infection. He takes his medicine like a champ. He’s always been so good at not fighting me on that. He’s poo’d in the potty twice. Not since like 2 weeks ago though (12/22 & 12/23). Since he’s been sick he really hasn’t wanted to look at the potty. He’s now 2. He turned 2 on October 1. Christmas was a good time. He’s interested in the boxes more than the gifts. Next year he should be so excited about what’s in the boxes and more importantly, all that Christmas entails. Jesus, family, etc. As I think of more stuff, I’ll add it or not which is probably more accurate. I’m a horrible mom.

We also celebrated our 4 year anniversary this year. A’s birthday was also celebrated.

My friend had a baby on Friday, A’s cousin’s wife (cousin-in-law?) had her baby on Tuesday. Lots of babies. Congratulations to both. Hope you’re getting your z’s and losing your minds.

We didn’t have a baby. There’s not one in the belly either. I swear I get asked when we’re having our next one if not once a week maybe a little more. So I’ll answer it for you now. Maybe this year. With the economy being the way it is, it scares me a little. I don’t want the new child (should we be blessed with a 2nd) to not have the same things that Diego had. I want them both to be equally spoiled. That’s the set back for me. There are others as well but that’s not for today. Having a child is the hardest job ever. You have to have energy at all times. I don’t have that right now. As I said, we’ll go into that another day.

Um, I took the music off because I was tired of the same songs over and over and I can’t find my password to change it. The jerks never e-mail me back either when I try and request it so off it goes. I don’t know what music I like right now anyway, unless you count the music on American Idol Encore for Wii. Then I’ll sing to you. I didn’t say it’d sound pretty.

Oh I’m sick too. For the 2nd time in 3 weeks. Yeah. How you like them apples?

All over the place

Hola con hola son dos holas. At least that's what my daddy says.

I visit your blogs almost daily. Though sometimes I don't comment because I have to click too many times and then type the word verification chingadera correctly and it can sometimes drive me to Xanax.

Remember a while back I told you about this pain that makes being in labor seem like a walk in the park? Well it's my gallbladder. Do you also remember me telling you that I had a CT scan and it wasn't my gallbladder but was diagnosed with acid reflux? It's my gallbladder. Did I mention that in a year they switched my acid reflux medication 3 times because nothing worked? It didn't work because it was my gosh darn gall bladder. Is gall bladder one word or two? It started out as one word and turned into two in the course of one paragraph. Anyway a month or more ago I had this pain that made me sweat and cry and lay on the tile floor to find relief. Oh I also vomited a few times in between rocking back and forth in the corner like rain man. My husband massaged my back so hard that I was sore for a minute. Finally after another ultrasound a year later they found that my gallbladder (back to one word) was inflamed and that I have a stone. Because I have frequent make you want to stub your toe on your bed chingaderas pain and I have a stone, they suggested surgery. So hasta la vista gallbladder. It's getting removed on June 4th. An early birthday present to myself. Although I did hear me some chorro horror stories. Please pray that I come out alive and chorro-less.

Diego wakes up saying mami and goes to sleep saying mami. He says "Oh yeah", mas, teta, leche, gabba gabba. Which by the way hasn't been on this week. Damn you Nick Jr. Bring that show back. Diego loves it. It taught him to shake his rump shaker. A lot of folks don't like it but I did and so did Diego. Diego says "No" a lot. Not to anything in particular. He basically talks to himself and then says no. So only he knows what he's protesting to. He loves to stick his hand in a drawer where I have a lot of kitchen tools. Don't worry CPS it's only the spatulas not the knives. He brings out whisks, spatulas, measuring cups. He doesn't play with them. He takes them out of the drawer goes to find me and then hands them to me. He sings "La Bamba" and "Cielito Lindo". Bababa ba is La Bamba and Ay ay ay ay is Cielito Lindo. He loves to dance. He says abuelito. He calls everyone Mami. He says "Moo" when he sees any animal. He's growing faster than fast.

I saw this movie last night and I'll recommend it to you. El Orfanato or The Orphanage. Fantastic movie. A little creepy with a crazy ass twist that left me bawling like the big effing baby that I am. Seriously. No joke. Alfonso had to console me.

My mom's in Mexico again. Guess who's watching Diego? Guess again? My dad. What?! Yep. I am more than grateful for him doing this for me. Never in a million years did I think he'd be changing his chato's diapers but he does. I love you Papi. Mil gracias. It has touched my heart in an indescribable way.

So I'm not sure if you remember but a minute ago I posted about the Ped-egg or Pedi-egg. Some kind of huevo. Anyway, I'm not sure if you remember my friend the jokester posting about how nasty she thinks it is. I still love it and I've heard so many other testimonials (because we're going to make a new infomercial for it) of people who do. So ped huevo call me because I'm endorsing it.

Work? is work. Gosh. I need to be Angelina Jolie. Who can hook that up for me?

What up?!

It has been a long time since I was up at night all by myself. My media naranja put Diego to bed and fell asleep in the process. You see last time Diego was sick we put him in bed with us so we could monitor him. He got over his illness and said buh bye to his room. Now every time I think of him going back to that room I cry. I love my baby in the bed with us. It’s funny when I tell people that he sleeps in bed with us they always feel the need to give advice. “You better get him out before he’s 18. Ha ha ha” STFU. As if it’s the first time I’ve heard it or as if I never said that to someone else. Unwanted advice. One of my pet peeves. I think it’s okay. It’s only one. I won’t have two in the bed. So he’ll be out before the next one comes. No. I’m not pregnant. Or trying.

Anyway I kind of got off topic. So I’m up all by myself. I was watching a movie but remembered I owe one of my best friends a birthday gift. So here I am. Not looking for my friends gift but writing. It feels nice to not have the two huele pedos in here. Wow. It’s quiet.

Last week we had the biggest scare since Diego was born. He had a febrile seizure. It came out of nowhere. He was happy all day long. Happy when we went to bed. Then all of a sudden I wake up to Fonz screaming my name. He was trying to get Diego to wake up and Diego wasn’t responding. I called 911 and by the time the ambulance got here Diego was coming out of it. Still had a blank stare but he was coming out of it. The paramedic suggested we try and bring his temperature down and blah blah blah. He left. So we did just that. Next day we take Diego to the pediatrician. He has a sore throat. WTF. He has a seizure because of a sore throat. Only 3 to 5 percent of kids get these. It’s possible now that every time he gets sick and has a fever this can happen. So one week to the day (yesterday). He has a fever. No sleep was happenin’. We were some temperature takin’, suppository inserting fools. He now has a cold. Poor guy. Which leads me back to the beginning of the post. If he hadn’t been sleeping with us we would have never known he was having a seizure. That’s not something I want to think about.

Yesterday was Dia del Amor y la Amistad. Happy belated Valentine’s day lovers. I’m not really a fan. I think it’s over commercialized and everything is so expected. I bought the big baby a card and the little one a card and a book. That’s it. I was only expecting a card (I was with him when he got it). When I came home and went to my bedroom to change into my disguise as my Mami so cleverly calls it. I was surprised to find “I Love Yummy” in tulips on my bed. Seriously. He surprises the shit out of me sometimes.

My Valentine’s day also included la Amistad. Mi amiga came over for dinner with the G’s for a friendship celebration. Great times and great conversation. I love those nights.

We were talking about how the older we get the less friends we have. We start to weed out the bad and keep the genuine. So true. A while ago I had a conversation with a friend about another “friend”. She asked me why I continued to be friends with this person. “I feel sorry for her” I said. She said “Would you want someone to be your friend because they felt sorry for you”. The truth shall set you free my friend. So I set that “friend” free. I have very very few friends. All friends with morals, values and good heads on their shoulders. All friends that I trust with all that I have. Do we always get along? Hell to the N-O. Do I love them unconditionally? Absolutely.

I always talk about friendship huh? It’s something that’s so important to me. While I was growing up friends came in and out of my life. I never was around one person consistently. As a woman, friendship is something I value. It’s only been recently where I accept things the way they are. We all have different things going on in our lives. I accept it. It really goes deeper than that but I won’t get into it here. Ay pajaros en el alambre.

So back to my movie and my shopping.

Me on

I’m taking this opportunity to write because I just can’t handle doing my work right now. I’ve had a very stressful day. I’ve been mean to the girls I work with. I shouldn’t be, it’s not their fault.

Me on jury duty: I had jury duty last week and was dismissed. Can I get an AMEN? The lady who worked it had the personality of my ass. They should hire people with umph. You don’t want to be there anyway and then you get there and Hitler is working. Not good. I do have to say though they were a little more organized than they were when I went 2 years ago. Without fail, I get a summons every 2 years. I wish they could erase my name from their database. I think I’ll change it.

Me on Diego: Last year at this time, we were planning for Diego’s arrival. I was in the middle of “helping” plan our baby shower. I was excited to meet the little fellar. People were trying to tell me what it was like to have a child. Nothing like they explained. If I were to tell you what to expect, I’d tell you. You think you know what it will be like. You think you know you will be tired. It’s nothing like what you’re thinking. NOTHING. Tired, exhausted, are understatements. Overwhelmed is not what you thought it meant. Blessed, absolutely. On a day where all has gone wrong, one smile from this little person makes nothing else matter. His first smile, laughter, tooth, all things that should be cherished. The days fly by. You hear that all the time but now you know it’s true.
You don’t gag when changing his diaper because he’s your own. Don’t believe it. I gag. Your life changes. You change. So trust me when I say that what you think parenthood is like – scratch that because it’s not. Is it all worth it? Absolutely. Every damn second of it is. Every minute of sleep lost, every time you hear his laughter. Every time you smell his neck, his hair. It’s all worth it.

Me on not posting: So I started the post above a while ago because I think jury duty was at the end of August. We got kicked out of our system so I’ll take advantage and update you on what I’ve been up to.

Me on stupid: NOTHING and EVERYTHING.

Me on BFF’s: Last weekend my BFF’s came over. Sometimes my feelings get hurt because I don’t see them and they’re off doing their own thing. When they come over though that feeling goes away. It’s as though we hung out the day before and we all go back to being who we were just a few years before. I adore them and they give me my friend fix. I wish I could see them more often and have them in my son’s life more but I know that with age come more responsibilities and less time. Funny how that happens.

Me on work: My new job title is going great. I’m not really sure what the previous owner of the title did all day but everyone works at a different pace I guess. I’ve managed to keep my department at 3 with time still left over to breathe.

Me on my mom (that sounded kind of dirty): My mom is leaving again soon. Diego will start going to someone different on Monday. Cross your fingers and dot your eyes or whatever that he does well.

Me on TV: JT was on Oprah yesterday. Good interview. He was so different talking to her than he was in some other interview where he was kind of cocky.

I can’t wait for my shows to come back on. I can actually because then I’ll become the couch potato I’m trying to stop being.

I’m glad Sherri Shepard is on The View. She cracks me up. I wish Elizabeth would STFU. They all have opinions but when she shares her it’s almost as though she’s trying to shove them down our throats. Bleh. Quiero gomitar as some people that can’t say vomitar say.

Me on going home: I’m going home. Why can’t I find the inspiration to write something worth reading?

Breaker Breaker

I want to find the inspiration and ganas to post. I have a lot of venting but unfortunately can no longer bring myself to vent on here. I’m thinking of making a change and when I do I’ll let you know so you can e-mail me if you want the new blog address.

So I know this is so a few weeks ago but still. Why was Jennifer Lopez a singing coach on AI? She needs a singing coach herself. I would have been all um no disrespect J to the L-O but if I want to learn to shake my ass I’ll call you, right now I’m trying to sing. I mean you played a good Selena but that was just pretend honey. Please do my make-up.

Fonz took baby D and they went for a walk. Now I have a little bit of a break now. Long enough to write dumb stuff.

Life has been uneventful. You lose friends when you get pregnant. No one wants to hang out with you anymore. Actually I think it’s our lives change and sometimes life pulls us all in different directions. So we’re off to look for new friends in new places or maybe old friends and new beginnings. I’m excited about that. Something new, something fresh. New things to look forward to besides what Baby D is learning to do. Woe is me.

I really couldn’t be happier right now. Alfonso and I have been working hard on our relationship. We’re trying to keep it fresh and try new things. Not sexually but spiritually and emotionally. Maybe you weren't even thinking of that. Cochina.

Oh yeah most importantly. My Mami is home. I was an orphan for a little while but both parents are home. Mami is watching Baby D again. He couldn’t be happier. My grandma is doing as well as can be expected. I’m sure she’s lonely, she’s doing well despite it all.

They’re baaaack. I’ll post again soon.

God is Love. Rev Yum.

In A Nutshell

This is what I’ve been up to.

My Mami’s birthday was last week. My Tia Lupe who is my great Aunt passed away on my Mami’s birthday. She was blind and had Alzheimer’s. My Abuelita who is 90ish took care of her or should I say they took care of each other. I’ll always carry such great memories of her. She was such a happy person. My mom left to go to the funeral and to take care of my Abuelita and will be gone for 3 more weeks possibly. From reading my blog you probably have already gathered that my Mami goes often. She had already planned on going but this, for obvious reasons, had her leaving earlier than she planned. She’ll be gone for at least 3 more weeks. I miss her as I always do but now more.

This left us to look for a daycare STAT. I felt so selfish thinking about this while my Mami was so sad and being pulled in different directions. Last week was the worst and longest week ever for me. I knew it was eventually going to happen but I guess I just didn’t have enough time to prepare. The anguish I feel leaving my child in someone else’s care is immense. My mom, my husband those are the only people he knows. I didn’t want him to think I was abandoning him. I was sad when I came back to work but felt nothing as strong as this. My mom watching him spoiled me, spoiled us. Knowing that the person who was caring for my child loved him as much as I do soothed me. I’ve cried every day since she left. It’s getting easier working my way to the door and it’s getting easier to leave without a knot in my throat. I don’t know how other working Mother’s do it. I know in the long run he’ll appreciate it but I don’t know if some of the material things are worth leaving him. I guess I never thought about it as much as I do now. I want him to have nice things and a nice home to live in but are all those nice things really going to be worth it to him? Anyway, it was a long week. (I started writing this on 3/6/07, I’ve sat in the parking lot crying every day)

We’re all sick again. This damn bug will not leave our house. I was drinking Airborne like crazy. It’s not a bad cold just a mild one but it kept me from work one day this week. That meant Baby D stayed too. I loved every second of my chubber.

So about my gallbladder. I go to the Dr. on the 20th for it. I haven’t had an episode since the last. I’ve had this pain in my chest and stomach for a while now. It started right before I got pregnant and happened one time while I was pregnant. I dismissed it as anxiety. Soon after Diego was born it started up again and more frequently. It’s painful and needless to say, uncomfortable. I’ve dealt. This particular day I couldn’t anymore. The pain wasn’t going away. We took a trip to the emergency room at 1:30 am. I was shot up with morphine and then the Dr. said that he was 85% sure it was my gallbladder. He wrote me 4 scripts and we were on our way at 4:30 am. It hasn’t happened since, knock on wood, toss salt over my shoulder, don’t walk under a ladder.

Work has also kept me busy and blog free. I haven’t had a chance to write while I’m at work. Sometimes I don’t even have a chance to read your blog. It’s a good thing that I’ve been busy but it’s a bad thing that I haven’t had the chance to write or sometimes read your blogs. Bad blog friend.

Being a mom has changed my life immensely. I knew it was going to be hard work but I don’t think anyone could have ever prepared me for this. Those people that say it’s not expensive, you lie. It is. There are the pampers, formula, water (because my baby ain’t getting the water coming out of the faucet), special equipment (car seat, high chair, play yard, etc), clothes. He grows at the rate of Jack (movie with Robin Williams). He’s a premie but you’d never know. Before him I would judge other moms on how anal they were and how I could never do that. Not no mo’. I think as a first time mom you don’t get cut any slack. No one wants to hear what you have to say because you’re not “experienced”. You can’t tell anyone what to do with your child because they’ve been there done that. The only problem I have with that is they haven’t done it my way. I would laugh at schedules and such. Not no mo’. My mom would agree with me on how ridiculous some things sounded before. Before Diego. Diego changed us. For some reason he changed my Mami too. She learned his routine because when I was home I would be on the phone with her at least 4 times a day. She kept his routine while he was in her care. She tried her hardest to adhere. She’s a mom of 3. She never judged me or my decisions. She learned from them. I actually taught my mom different things. I believe it’s because Diego was born 7 weeks early. In the week he was in the hospital the nurses taught us a lot of things. Some of the things were some of the reasons I criticized other parents. I shared the new found wisdom with Mami. So together we said, only the child’s Mother knows what’s best for her child. Washing hands before handling a child. I’d be offended if someone asked me to do that. The nurses told me this and all of a sudden, I was no longer offended. Anything to keep mi niño sanito. I appreciate it when people come over wash their hands and then ask if they can hold the baby. It actually makes my heart skip a beat. Do I get mad if someone doesn’t? No. I love it when you do though. I no longer make quick judgements. It may not be the way I’d do it but every parent has a reason for being the way they are. My reason is, I love my child. I’m happy being a mom. At first I didn’t think I wanted any more children. The lack of sleep was unbearable. Of course, my reasons were all selfish. Now, I want 1 more. If Diego can bring me this much happiness, I can only imagine what one more could do.

The Indians are awake now. I hope to post again soon.